1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,920 - Hey! - Hey. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,800 Not here. We can do that in the car. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,160 I took the bus. 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,600 Well, we can do it on the bus. 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,800 Slut. 6 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,480 What time's your sister getting in? 7 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,720 Not until eight. 8 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,720 Aww. Can't wait to see her. 9 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,800 She's bringing me over some Diazapam. 10 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,600 - Happy pills. - Yeah, I know what it is. 11 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,000 Why do you take that shit? 12 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,240 Don't know, just sometimes like to 13 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,000 feel a bit better than my factory settings. 14 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:32,920 What's her new foster kid like? 15 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,840 I don't know. I know he's a teen. 16 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,560 Really? 17 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,720 Bloody hell. 18 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,080 Good for her. 19 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,520 Maybe when Frankie and Muireann are older, 20 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,000 we should think about fostering some kids. 21 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,079 Are you mental? 22 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,759 Why would we want to do that? 23 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,240 'Cause it's a good thing to do. 24 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,480 We don't have time to do good stuff. 25 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,760 Or space. 26 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,080 Just say you don't want to do it, 27 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,840 don't say we don't have enough space. 28 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,080 Those kids come from clusters, hives of kids. 29 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,560 They don't give a shit about space. 30 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,040 Give 'em an apple and a blanket, 31 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,200 and they think they're at Disney World. 32 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,400 Oh, did I tell you she's a Quaker now? 33 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,080 - Huh? - Yeah, she started checking it out 34 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,760 after Colton left her, and now she's full bore. 35 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,199 Really? 36 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,000 Now, that worries me. 37 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,760 You're sister's ripe to being taken advantage of by a cult. 38 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:17,160 - It's not a cult. - Plus, they're hypocrites. 39 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,919 You know, I won't use a Blackberry, but I will use a wheel. 40 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,720 A wheel's technology. 41 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,279 They use wheels like crazy, 42 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,000 they're fuckin' nuts about wheels. 43 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,560 - And barns. - Barn technology. 44 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:28,760 Also, that's Amish. 45 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,240 Hang on. How did she even get over here 46 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,840 if she's a Quaker? 47 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,160 I mean, how is she allowed to use a plane? 48 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,680 Did she come in a covered wagon? 49 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,360 That's Amish. It's a different thing. 50 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,200 - It's the same thing. - You're a bigot. 51 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,760 So what? What are you gonna do, 52 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,560 text an Amish person? 53 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,440 It's not the same thing, so your joke doesn't work. 54 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,840 Who cares? 55 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:52,200 My asshole ex drew a swastika on my passport, 56 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,080 so I wouldn't be able to leave the country. 57 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,600 - Oh, my God. - The TSA guy 58 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,040 said that's fine so long as they can read the chip. 59 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,520 And then on this side, the guy just smiled at me, 60 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,480 and invited me to something called a-- 61 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,800 an "Oo-kip." 62 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,280 Colton thinks that if he makes my life miserable, 63 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,640 he's gonna feel better. 64 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,040 He's so unhappy. 65 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,600 I'm just praying for him. 66 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,440 Did I tell you that he took all my money 67 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,080 from the company we started together? 68 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,439 Yeah, I had to sell the house. 69 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,840 You did but... oh, no. 70 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,840 So Mom showed me how to eBay some of his Bruins jerseys, 71 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,680 and that's how I paid for the plane tickets. 72 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,160 Oh! 73 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,599 What's the bandwidth here? 74 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,040 - Huh? - How long would it take 75 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,560 to download 75 gigs? 76 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,120 Oh, I-- I don't know. 77 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,360 But we have a full color TV. 78 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,240 You can watch a whole show right now 79 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,400 as it's happening. 80 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,880 Well, we're gonna get out from under your feet very soon. 81 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,599 Oh, don't worry about that. 82 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,240 No, I want to dive right in. 83 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,760 Do you guys want to go to Buckingham Palace with us? 84 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,400 Oh, no, thank you. I don't like the monarchy. 85 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,320 Oh, that's funny, 'cause I've seen you looking at 86 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,280 pictures of Princess Beatrice on your phone. 87 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,760 Well, that's not 'cause she's a royal. 88 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,720 She has giant, beautiful eyes, 89 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,840 and even if she worked at Pizza Express, 90 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,560 I'd still look at pictures of her on my phone. 91 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,280 That's not creepy. 92 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,640 And also, do you know how much the crown jewels are worth? 93 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,120 If they sold one of those, just one of those jewels, 94 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,080 it'd fund the NHS for 200 years. 95 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,480 So, for that reason, I hope they all get rickets. 96 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,640 Other than that, they are quite fun. 97 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,000 Morning. 98 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,600 Mm, I hope you don't mind that I helped myself to breakfast. 99 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:21,920 Oh, God no, knock yourself out. 100 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,400 These Weetabix things are hilarious. 101 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,360 They start out as this wheaty brick, 102 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,840 and then you pour some milk on them, 103 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,760 and they turn into this sort of tasty slime! 104 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,040 Yeah. They're fun, all right. 105 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,440 - Where's Rob? - He's, uh, doing his morning meditation. 106 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,320 - Really? - No, he's having a shit. 107 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,520 Oh. 108 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,200 Between you and me, 109 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,560 I came over here because I wanted to check how he's doing. 110 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,360 Mom didn't paint a great picture. 111 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,240 - How is he? - How is he? 112 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,320 Uh, I don't know, really. 113 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,360 I mean, he's not drinking. 114 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,080 But he's not really happy. 115 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,000 He's sort of ashamed, I guess. 116 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,280 You know, so he's working on himself, 117 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,080 which is great, but also selfish. 118 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,920 - Mm-hm. - It's like he's on a crusade, 119 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,920 but to somewhere boring and we all have to come. 120 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,880 Doesn't sound very fun for you. 121 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,040 Yeah, I mean, I don't need fun all the time, 122 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,400 it's just that, like, up until recently, 123 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,560 his alcoholism was just folklore. 124 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,840 You know, and now it's kind of in my face. 125 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,200 But, uh-- Oh. There he is. 126 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,240 - Morning. - Morning. 127 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:21,160 Oh, hey, Syd, assuming you get your fill of touristy stuff today, 128 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,000 do you think you could possibly watch the kids for us tonight? 129 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,040 Why? What are we doing? You takin' me somewhere nice? 130 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,360 Well, there's an open AA meeting at St. Andrew's tonight 131 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,600 that you can bring family to, 132 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,240 so I thought we might hit that. 133 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,120 They usually have a pretty good biscuit spread 134 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,360 if you get there early enough. They go pretty fast. 135 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,520 - Hey. - Morning. 136 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,040 - Morning. - I was wondering, 137 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,040 would you like to come see the opening night of Jeffrey's play? 138 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,000 Late notice because, I'll be honest, 139 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,520 you weren't my first choice. 140 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,520 Oh, wow, yeah. I'd love to. 141 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,880 Well, great! Uh, you have to be there at 6:30. 142 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,240 Why? How long's the play? 143 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,240 Three and a half hours. 144 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,520 I don't think I can make that. 145 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,440 Chris is bringing his new girlfriend, 146 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,760 and I could really do with the moral support. 147 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,200 - Please? - Will anyone famous be there? 148 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,600 Benedict Cumberbatch's brother, Rollo, 149 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,680 is playing Sebastian. 150 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,800 Oh, Christ. 151 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,120 Mom said you were a real mess 152 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,560 last time she was over. 153 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,239 How you doin' now? 154 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,240 I mean, my head's still a bit of a clown graveyard, 155 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,720 - if I'm being honest. - Yeah? 156 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,760 But, uh, you know, don't tell her that. 157 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,360 I didn't even tell her about the accident. 158 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,560 Thank you. How's she doing, by the way? 159 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,560 Uh, she is just rough work. 160 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,880 Her hearing's going, so she shouts at me a lot, 161 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,920 and then I shout at her just to be heard. 162 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,280 Everybody's just screaming. 163 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,280 Ugh. Is there anything I can do to help? 164 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:44,000 Well, not from here. 165 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,840 Do you ever think about moving back? 166 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,200 Yeah, I think about it all the time, 167 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,040 but, you know, that idea doesn't 168 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,640 gain a lot of purchase with Sharon. 169 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,200 Maybe when she dies. 170 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,480 Why would Sharon die? Is she sick? 171 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,040 - Not that I know of. - Okay. 172 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,720 Um, oh, hey, Dave called, 173 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,160 and he wants to see you. 174 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,480 So I invited him over for dinner. 175 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:04,640 I hope that's okay. 176 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,840 - Dave Norton? - Yeah. 177 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,280 Oh, my God. He's still alive? 178 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,280 - Shockingly. - Whoa. 179 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,320 All right, we'll see you at home for dinner. 180 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,800 We're just gonna pop in here. 181 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,080 Oh, you're Quakin' already. 182 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,040 Yeah. Quake on vacation. 183 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,120 Okay. 184 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,640 - Can I come in? - Totally! 185 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,080 Yeah, come on. Let's go. 186 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,920 Okay, so for your homework tonight, 187 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,040 uh, I would like you to use your spelling words from today 188 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,520 to make a picture. 189 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,640 Okay, I want you to all use colors, 190 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,520 that's crayons, coloring pencils. 191 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,200 Don't just borrow your dad's bettin' biro. 192 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,240 And, uh-- 193 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,760 All right, everyone, leave your papers on your desk. 194 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,360 Sam. Sam, would you stay behind. 195 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,120 Okay. All right, no talking! 196 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,480 Out! Thank you. 197 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,280 James, Sonny, stop flossing. 198 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,520 Hey. 199 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,920 Did you have a little accident? 200 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,560 Yeah? 201 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,760 Do you still need to go to the toilet, 202 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,040 or did you-- did you do it all here? 203 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:09,840 Okay, um, tell you what. I will go to lost property, 204 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,240 and see if they've got any spare trousers. 205 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,520 Like last time. 206 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,120 Yeah? And don't worry about it. 207 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,640 This kind of thing used to happen to me all the time. 208 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,280 You should hear what my husband did at his sister's wedding. 209 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,520 I'll tell you when I get back. 210 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,160 Okay. Good man. 211 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,240 What's happening now? 212 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,520 You just listen. 213 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,600 - To what? - Whatever's on your mind. 214 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,560 Or God. 215 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,800 If you believe in that crap. 216 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,040 Which I do. 217 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,840 So, Syd, 218 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,560 whatever happened to that fuckin' asshole-- Oh. 219 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,360 I'm-- I'm sorry, Jamie. 220 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,120 - No, Jimmy. - Oh! 221 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,560 Sorry about that, too. 222 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,920 Syd, whatever happened to that fuckin'-- 223 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,600 Oh, shit! I'm so sorry. 224 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,280 I'm-- I'm sorry. 225 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,640 Uh, what do I do, give them money-- 226 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,720 No, just next time you think you're gonna swear, don't. 227 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,080 Okay. 228 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,040 Sure. 229 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,440 - Syd. - Yes? 230 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,040 Whatever happened to that... 231 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:36,720 person you used to be in an adult relationship with? 232 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,040 You know, that angry guy with the greasy face? 233 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,080 - Mm-hm. Colton? - Yeah. 234 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,519 I married him. 235 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,120 Stayed with him for a little over a decade, 236 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,600 and still detangling myself from that wreckage. 237 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,840 I just never thought I would see Dave Norton 238 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,200 strapped to a baby. 239 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,480 I know. Right? 240 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:56,600 Yeah. 241 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,080 Oh... I am so blessed. 242 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,520 I-- I'm sorry her mom couldn't be here. 243 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,360 She's got a little dose of the baby blues, 244 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,040 so I don't really like being around her right now. 245 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,879 Ahh! 246 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,360 Love this little chicken so much. 247 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,120 I didn't even know what had come out at first. 248 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,880 You know, if it'd have cloven feet. 249 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,440 I mean, I thought I could have been siring the Antichrist. 250 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,080 Because, you know, I sold drugs to Slobodan Milosevic. 251 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,360 - Dave! - Uh-- Sorry. Sorry. 252 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,160 Guns. 253 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,880 Drugs and guns. 254 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,840 How was your day? How was school? 255 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,400 Yeah. Grand. 256 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,240 Okay, one of my kids has started wetting himself, 257 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,840 so, yeah, the parents are coming in to see me tomorrow. 258 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,120 It's happened a few times now. 259 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,600 God love him, and I don't know whether something's going on at home. 260 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,640 - Oh, my goodness. - Yeah. 261 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,360 It's difficult to know what to do, 262 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,040 but sometimes I think this is what I'm good at. 263 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,720 You know, I mean, I hate that he's wetting himself, 264 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,280 but at the same time, this is where I can really... 265 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,160 I don't know, shine. 266 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,120 You know what I mean. 267 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,440 You know what we do. 268 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,640 Oh. 269 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,160 Oh, there's salad in the bowl there if you-- 270 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,519 Oh, thank you, honey, we're all good. 271 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,280 Did Rob tell you how much he enjoyed his first meeting today? 272 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,360 Looks like we might have two Quakers in the family. 273 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,600 I don't understand why the idea 274 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,120 of me becoming a better person-- 275 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,440 or at least trying to-- 276 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,360 puts such a cockroach up your asshole. 277 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,280 Number one, you're too busy. 278 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,200 You'd have to go to bloody weekly harvest feasts, 279 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,400 and what have you. 280 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,400 You've already got AA, therapy, work. 281 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,200 And, you know, what about me? 282 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,760 Will I have to wear a bonnet? 283 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,400 Don't think this doesn't affect us. 284 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,400 I-- I don't think you're gonna have to wear a bonnet. 285 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,320 Yeah, you don't think or you don't know? 286 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,520 Why don't I ask 'em. 287 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,200 What was all that about at dinner? 288 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,600 - All what? - The Tupperware. 289 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,440 What's up with the briefcase of vegetables? 290 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,680 Maybe Jimmy has scurvy. 291 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,720 I mean, in America, they ship vegetables past poor neighborhoods 292 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:06,920 under armed guard. 293 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,480 Yeah, but I served vegetables. 294 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,920 Maybe he needs pure, uncut veg, you know? 295 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,920 And not spinach dissolved in butter, 296 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,120 and tinned tomatoes. 297 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,480 Which I like, but let's not pretend Jamie Oliver 298 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,000 is gonna be poking his head out of the cupboard 299 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,320 asking for the recipe any time soon. 300 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,640 Get your feet off me. 301 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,360 So I just wondered if there were any difficulties 302 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,760 at home. 303 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,760 I mean, it's happened a few times now, 304 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,440 and I want to help, but I guess I need the whole picture 305 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,240 to be able to do that. 306 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,120 He's scared of you. 307 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,320 Right. What? 308 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,760 He's scared to put his hand up to go to the loo 309 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:48,920 when he's in your class. 310 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,400 Okay. 311 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,840 Well, I'm surprised to hear that. 312 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,080 Um, I'm not gonna reject it out of hand, 313 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,920 if that's how he feels, you know, says he feels. 314 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,360 If that's what you're saying he says he feels, 315 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,160 but, um, I guess I've just never made anyone 316 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,800 pee themselves before. 317 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,440 Uh, that I'm aware of. 318 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,160 To my knowledge. 319 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,000 Okay. Let me just, um... 320 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,680 Let me digest that. 321 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,200 Uh, and while I have you, I notice you haven't been 322 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,680 filling in the parents section of his reading log. 323 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,320 If you could get back on that. 324 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:27,640 I don't hand them out for fun. 325 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,080 Of course. 326 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:31,720 - Bye. - Bye. 327 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,280 Bye, bye, bye. 328 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,840 Look. There he is. 329 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,240 - There's another one. - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 330 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,480 - And again. - Yeah. 331 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,800 - Do you want a drink? - Yeah, yeah. 332 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:46,920 - White wine? - Yeah. 333 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,240 - Hey. - Hey. 334 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,000 Fran, this is Tanya. 335 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,640 - Tanya, Fran. - Pleased to meet you. 336 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,400 And you. Heard a lot about you. 337 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,320 Oh. All good, I doubt. 338 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,920 Yes. I mean, no. No, not doubt. 339 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,120 - All good. - Did you see Jeffrey? 340 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,120 Oh, yes, I popped backstage, went through his vocal warm up with him. 341 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,760 The tip of the tongue, the teeth and the lips. 342 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,520 Give me the gift of a grip top sock. 343 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,920 Red leather, yellow leather. 344 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,720 I'm just gonna pop to the loo. 345 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,720 Won't make it to the interval with my tiny bladder. 346 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,320 Tiny bladder. That code for tight pussy? 347 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,800 Not really. 348 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,720 - She's very pretty. - Oh, thank you. 349 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,560 But a lot of people are pretty when they're younger, 350 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:42,880 but, you know, enjoy the play. 351 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,000 Hi. 352 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,600 Did you see the way she looked at him? 353 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,280 Who? 354 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,920 Chris's new girlfriend. 355 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,640 He's obviously very fond of her. 356 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,360 Is that bad? 357 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,000 No. 358 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,240 It's just-- 359 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,120 Not sure we ever looked at each other like that. 360 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,920 If music be the food of love, 361 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,000 play on. 362 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,720 Give me excess of it; 363 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,040 that surfeiting. 364 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,680 The appetite may sicken and so die. 365 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,440 Hey, you're home early. 366 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,880 Yeah, the play finished early, 367 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,200 because, uh, I left early. 368 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,000 - You want to eat? - Yeah. Okay. 369 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,640 Also, Jeffrey's penis is huge. 370 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,920 Oh, and it just felt wrong lookin' at it. 371 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,000 Does Chris have a big cock? 372 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,880 It feels big, 373 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,840 but I've only felt it in the dark. 374 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,000 I mean, it was... 375 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,680 They were all naked. You know? 376 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,840 I mean, I like looking at naked people. 377 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,000 I sometimes like seeing plays, but together. 378 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,680 And it was a small theater, you know? 379 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,480 I could definitely smell they're actory arseholes. 380 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,480 Yum. 381 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,640 I couldn't concentrate, anyway. 382 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,320 Kept thinking about the pee kid. 383 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,840 And his parents, you know, sayin' I scare him. 384 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,360 Now Hammond's getting involved. 385 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,040 It just seems so insane to me. 386 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,160 It's not that insane. 387 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,920 I mean, I'm not afraid of you, but, you know, 388 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,920 it's not impossible that a kid might be. 389 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,440 If I were three feet shorter, 390 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,760 and you made it clear that I disappointed you, 391 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,440 it's possible I might piss myself. 392 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,040 Yeah, but I don't act at school the way I act with you guys. 393 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,520 I would never behave out in the world the way I do at home. 394 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,480 Oh, hey. 395 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,880 - Hey. - How was the play? 396 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,080 You know what? I am not a big theater goer, 397 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,640 so I'm probably not the best judge, 398 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,760 but I'd say really terrible. 399 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,120 Oh, well-- This looks delicious. 400 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,280 Oh, hold on, I've got, um-- 401 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,520 I got a little uh-- 402 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,760 There you go. 403 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,480 Okay? 404 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,920 Jimmy? 405 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,280 Can I get you anything else? 406 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,480 No thanks. 407 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,360 This is so, so good. 408 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,320 Ooh! 409 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,480 I find it funny 410 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,920 that you think I'm scary. 411 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,120 I'm not even cross. I was actually-- 412 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,720 I was actually laughing 413 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,000 on my way over here. 414 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:45,320 So, tell me what it is that you find scary about me, Sam? 415 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,440 - Everything. - Everything. 416 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,680 Okay. Well, um... I'm not scary. 417 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,640 I'm, uh-- I'm just a woman with opinions, 418 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,160 and, uh, for some people, that is scary. 419 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,520 But-- 420 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,560 Um, what-- Do you know what I think? 421 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,080 I think we're all scared of something. 422 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,440 Right? You know what I'm scared of? 423 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,480 Climate change. What are you scared of? 424 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,040 You. 425 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,000 Okay. Um, well, 426 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,800 do you know what else I'm scared of? 427 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,480 Britain First. White nationalists. 428 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,440 You know? I mean, where-- where do they get off? 429 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,079 Why-- Why are they so-- 430 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,560 What-- What else are you scared of? 431 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,200 Nothing. 432 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,440 You're only scared of me? 433 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,319 Well, that's-- 434 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,520 I'm sorry, I can't work with that. 435 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,760 I mean, obviously, I don't want my wife to have a drunk husband, 436 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,520 'cause I like her. She's a nice person. 437 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,920 I mean, not lately, but, I mean, 438 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,080 I'm going to AA and therapy. 439 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,440 I got kettle bells. 440 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,280 But, you know, I just-- I look in the mirror, 441 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,080 and I'm like-- ugh! 442 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,240 Can you fix that here? 443 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:05,920 You could fix that here. 444 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,800 Well, great. You know, 445 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,559 'cause I really enjoyed the meeting the other day. 446 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,079 I mean, the quiet. 447 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,640 You know, in my home, we don't have that. 448 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,480 My wife is not a quiet person. 449 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,280 She's Irish, so... 450 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,640 I mean, you know, at first that's charming, 451 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,680 but after a while, it's like-- 452 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:19,920 Of course. 453 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,560 Oh, uh, one other question, 454 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,079 uh, that I already know the answer to, 455 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,880 but I promised my wife I'd ask. 456 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,640 Will she have to wear a bonnet? 457 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,680 Well, normally, we don't bring bonnets up until later. 458 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,040 Are you serious? 459 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,680 I am not. 460 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,320 And the quiet there, I mean-- 461 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,200 You can be quiet, you can be gay. 462 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,920 You don't even have to believe in God. 463 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,320 Mm-hm. 464 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,680 It's just good people doing good things. 465 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,880 - You should come along. - You know I can't. 466 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,480 - Why not? - Because of my condition. 467 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,080 - What condition? - I don't want to. 468 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,040 Look, it's different for you, you're American. 469 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,720 You can go on journeys or whatever. 470 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,319 I can't change. 471 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,400 I'm a teacher, and I frighten the kids I teach, 472 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,160 and I don't even know what to do about that. 473 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,160 You'll deal with it your way, you're a good teacher. 474 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,560 Fuck the piss kid. 475 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,080 Yeah, but what if I'm like the nuns who used to terrify me? 476 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,200 You think I'm angry. 477 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,080 Anger is okay. 478 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,480 It's not okay to punch your daughter in the head, 479 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,240 but it's okay to feel anger. 480 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,400 Why wouldn't you be angry? Life is shitty. 481 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,200 Sydney's not angry. 482 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,880 Your Quakers aren't angry. 483 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,280 Well, maybe they should be. 484 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,160 I'm gonna talk to brother Lucien about this. 485 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,040 Okay, just-- 486 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,400 Just don't leave me behind. 487 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,640 All right? Don't become a better person, 488 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,320 and then look at me and think you don't need me. 489 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,800 I'm not gonna leave you behind. 490 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,920 What are you doing here, Sam? 491 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,080 Are you in trouble? 492 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,799 What's that? 493 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,319 Something bad you wrote? 494 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,520 Oh... 495 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,720 Can I see it? 496 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,640 Sam? Can I see it? 497 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,080 Can you show it to me? Can you-- 498 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,160 Sam, can you just-- Thank you. 499 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,040 Is that about Sonny Bertali's mum? 500 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,080 Okay. 501 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,920 I know some people. 502 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,320 I could make it go away. 503 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,319 You still scared of me? 504 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,319 - No. - Good. 505 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,160 Back to class. 506 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,920 Hate is short. 507 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,200 Love is very long. 508 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,320 Together, let us weather the passing storms, 509 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,880 and in the long term, love will, somehow... 510 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,400 win over hatred. 511 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,760 Somehow. 512 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,040 Sorry? 513 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,440 No, it's just you said somehow, 514 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,079 and you mentioned long term. 515 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,640 I need more help faster. 516 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,480 Look, I'm afraid patience and humility 517 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,320 is a big part of what we practice here. 518 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,400 We don't offer magical answers. 519 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,680 Did you know this? 520 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,560 - May I ask you a question? - Of course. 521 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,240 What are Quakers thoughts on all the chaos in the world? 522 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,560 How do you mean? 523 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,720 Uh, Gaza, Syria. Florida. You know? 524 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,000 Are you angry about all that? 525 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,080 And what about all the butting heads? 526 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,080 Jews and Muslims? Christians? 527 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,200 What do you think about them? 528 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,480 We wish them all the best. 529 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,560 Oh, come on. You have an opinion. 530 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,920 If you bottle up all that anger, 531 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,000 you're gonna have an embolism. 532 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,360 Maybe you should be angry. 533 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,280 You know, why are you so laid back? 534 00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,560 Is this a pot thing? 535 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,360 I-- You know, I mean, 536 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,680 I feel like you're trying to sell me a condo, 537 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,280 that on the outside looks nice, 538 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,880 but then on the inside there's, like, no floors, 539 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,280 and just some rat 540 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,280 riding around on an electric wheelchair. 541 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,880 - Pardon? - You know, 542 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,280 I don't think this is gonna work out. 543 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,800 I'm quitting. 544 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,480 And, uh, I'm not saying that you guys should quit, 545 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,480 but you should have a plan in case you get into power. 546 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,760 Come here. Oh, I loved having you here so much. 547 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,080 You're the best. And getting to know Jimmy. 548 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,000 Ah, it's a wonderful thing. 549 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,120 What? 550 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,440 Um-- 551 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,920 Could I just ask about the vegetables? 552 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,440 About the Tupperware? 553 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,680 Oh, sure. Uh, go say goodbye to Frankie. 554 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,000 Sure. 555 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,240 Oh, no, it's not a big-- It's just-- 556 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,280 You know, I would always serve vegetables, 557 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,240 but you'd still-- I mean, you'd always-- 558 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,000 I should have explained. 559 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,200 Jimmy's dad was the cook in their family, 560 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,560 and when he went to prison, his mom would do him 561 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,280 the same red and yellow vegetables that his dad used to. 562 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,240 It was sort of their little thing. 563 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,000 And then when his mom died, 564 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,400 he got pretty obsessed with having 565 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,120 the same shape and color vegetables 566 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,400 that she used to make for him. 567 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,680 I just didn't want you guys to have to, 568 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,440 I don't know, bother with all that. 569 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,040 So I just did it. 570 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,000 Oh, my God. 571 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,320 Oh, my God. 572 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,600 We're such assholes, because we were just like, 573 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,920 you know, what's up with the vegetable briefcase? 574 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,920 - It's not a briefcase. - No, no, I'm sorry, 575 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,680 it was just our little joke. 576 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,880 You guys had a joke about it? 577 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,920 No. 578 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,560 Uh. It's Colton. Ugh! 579 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:44,800 I should probably take it. 580 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,760 He's missed five calls this trip. 581 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,240 Hello. 582 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,120 Yes, I'm having a great trip. 583 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,880 Thank you for asking. 584 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,640 The more time zones that separate us, 585 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,320 the happier I am. 586 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,440 Because you're a brown stripe on my fuckin' panties, 587 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,040 that's why. 588 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,000 Well, unless you're calling to tell me that 589 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,160 you're wiring the money that you stole from me, 590 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,720 or that you figured out a way to fix my broken heart 591 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,040 that doesn't involve ever seeing you again, 592 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,400 you can fuck the fuck off! 593 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,320 Okay? Yeah! 594 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:21,240 Oh, y-- Oh, yeah? 595 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,400 Well, up yours! 596 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,400 Up yours, too, you deadbeat-- Ahh! 597 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,680 Maggot! 598 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:27,920 Ahh! 599 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,280 Oh... 600 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,000 I think I'm gonna be sick. 601 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,440 No, no, no. 602 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,920 I'm fine. 603 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,320 Fine. 604 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:39,360 Okay. 605 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:40,480 No, I am gonna be sick.